The Armour Archive

[img]http://www.cofs.net/dale/glad.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.citlink.net/citlink/o/optics/ArmorAd.jpg[/img]


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-Let cry the skies to cleanse my soul, let weep the heavens to make me whole.

ok, I know that this looks off topic, but it does relate to armor construction and design. I am a novice at this, so could you kind lads and lasses please explain the principal faults you all find in these?
I'm just interested in this as a prime example of what not to do. Anything on these two pieces that *WAS* done correctly/well/safely?????

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-Let cry the skies to cleanse my soul, let weep the heavens to make me whole.

Hehe... it would be rather amusing to have both of those items just to piss people off.. =)

Imagine the look on the marshals face when you go to an armour inspection wearing those.. =)

>ok, I know that this looks off topic, but it does relate to armor construction and design. I am a novice at this, so could you kind lads and lasses please explain the principal faults you all find in these?<

Well, the truth is, the helmet is probably just ugly. The holes appear to be small enough to not let a stick pass through them. It is not at all a copy of a period helm. I believe that the original ebay ad said that it was a roman gladiator helmet. The "earmuffs" would tend to catch blows rather than deflect them. But other than that, nothing really comes to mind, but I am not talking about the workmanship, or the taste. This is assuming that the helm is of the proper guage, and is of sufficient mass.

The dress is another matter entirely. I believe that the leather was 5-6 oz, way too light to function as armour. SCA rules call for rigid protection on the kidneys and short ribs, which this simply does not provide. The little plate thingys, especially the slugs on the back, seem like they are far more likely to be driven into the body than to absorb and distribute force. you could solve the kidney/short rib problem (maybe) by taking that big red belt thing off, slicing it into one inch wide strips, boiling it in wax, and hand stitching it back onto the garment in the back, with about a half an inch between each strip. that just might do it, but I really doubt it. you might have to also boil and stitch on the leather strips hanging down under the spalders as well, and even then, it just might not be heavy enough leather, even boiled in wax. You would certainly have to throw away all the metal scale thingies. put the entire thing on over a good moving blanket gambeson, and see if your local marshal salutes.

while we are on the subject of spalders. those need to be removed and buried in an unmarked grave at midnite on a dark nite. They are incorrectly placed, riding on the top of the shoulders rather than protecting the point of the shoulder and the deltoid. One thing that concerns me more than that is that the pointy top of the spalders seems to be pointing in at the jugular vein and carteroid artery of the wearer. the placement seems like they were meant to kill the wearer. they also appear to be too small.

the skirt doesn't appear to be too bad, though I am unsure of what period item it might represent. if you take some spray adhesive, and stick a little 1/4" foam (like is used for mousepads) on the back of each of the "skirt strips", it might be decent butt armor.

the garment appears to have been put together by somebody who knew more about sewing than me. I am unqualified to speak about the fit, but it does look right.

is this some sort of test?

Ahh yes the point and laugh at helm. Not period, truly tasteless and downright hideous. I have no idea of the guage.

Construction OTOH seems to be fine. The crest is nice. The planishing smooth. The lower lip even and clean. It's a shame someone put that much work/time/effort into something that ugly. I guess everyone has to follow thier dream.

I tend to see the helm as proof that teletubbies have been around since medieval times......

I still maintain that it has something to do with Bender the robot.

Eric

The helmet probably does not extend past the bottom of the chin, leaving the neck wide open. You could wear the Romanish armor in the wheelchair to make people leave you alone.

Well first off they're ugly. Then also they're just ugly. Finally they're very UGLY.

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Emm aye sea kayee why. Emm ohyou essee.

I think someone mentioned that they are off Indian manufacture, which is sad, because the people of India have a fantastic tradition of armour production and if they made some of that it'd probably sell like hotcakes.
Without picking it up, it's hard to say anything about the construction. From an armouring viewpoint, it is just plain wrong because it's a strange sort of costume, not armour, any defensive value it has is't relevant.
It depends what you want to do, the SCA doesn't really require armour, just sports protection. many people go hard and try and make their sports protection also suits of armour. This isn't a suit of armour.