Dumb Jerk, or, the Unexpected Side Effects of Practice

Noe · Post by **Noe** » Tue Aug 14, 2001 2:00 pm

For the past three weeks, I've been unable to attend fighter practice, and in fact, am only supposed to walk. In the shade. On cool days. In any case, to keep in shape, I've taken to doing slow work and pell work in the campus parking lot near my apartment.

I was practicing florentine (of sorts: longsword and long dagger) when suddenly I became aware of the tippy tap of little feet sprinting in my direction. I turned to see a student running full speed in my direction. I turned, still in position (rattan short sword forward, longsword cocked and ready).

Despite the fact that I was looking less than sociable, he kept running at me. At ten feet, he started saying, "Now be cool, just be cool," and he slowed down but kept approaching me with his arms outstretched.

Now, as my friends and family can attest, I am not a touchy feely kind of person. My perimeter alarms are going off and he smelled and looked drunk. The sword was still in cocked position.

When he gets so close that I'm holding him off with the "dagger", and he just kept saying "Be cool, man, be cool."

Then when I won't let him approach any closer, he tellls me that his friends on the other side of the parking lot had bet him five buck that he wouldn't come over and grab me. This does not fill me with enthusiasm. The sword is still cocked an ready to go.

So he reached out an put his hand on my arm, and then jerked back and ran off thanking me for winning him five bucks.

When I finally dropped back to condition yellow, I started laughing, partly because of the ridiculousness and stupidity of their bet and partly because I had missed getting to go to jail by only few seconds of delayed judgement. I worry now about what would have happened if he had come up from behind and surprised me. I doubt if it would have been good.

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The defining characteristic of fanaticism is the inability to understand why everyone else is not a fanatic.

Rainald · Post by **Rainald** » Tue Aug 14, 2001 5:22 pm

Your a much more tolerant man than I would have been Noe.

BTW, I didn't know Rup*rt had a cousin in M.O.

randy · Post by **randy** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 1:34 am

wow. whats condition yellow like?

Noe · Post by **Noe** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 3:10 am

I think condition yellow would be "situation normal: concious and paranoid". I think I only slip into green when I sleep.

As for being tolerant, I didn't feel that way; I just wasn't interested in dealing with the law and was quite relieved when it turned out to be harmless. I just can't believe how _dumb_ that guy was. It would have been very bad if he had succeeded in surprising me.

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The defining characteristic of fanaticism is the inability to understand why everyone else is not a fanatic.

Dwarlock · Post by **Dwarlock** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 4:46 am

sigh I wish I gould go to green when I sleep.

jagatei · Post by **jagatei** » Wed Aug 15, 2001 7:33 am

Too bad you don't live in the south. You could have gotten off with the legal defense of "Judge, he needed beatin'"

Galileo · Post by **Galileo** » Tue Aug 21, 2001 8:46 pm

Although, if he had surprised you by grabbing you, many states allow for self defense with whatever happens to be in your hands....

gargoyle · Post by **gargoyle** » Wed Aug 22, 2001 11:25 am

In Indiana "anyone who touches the person of another in a rude, insolent or angry manner commits battery." Then the self defence thing kicks in. If he'd grabbed you from behind it would not only have been rude, but stupid.

Morgan · Post by **Morgan** » Mon Aug 27, 2001 11:03 am

Reminds me of a joke. Guy in a bar says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 I can stand on a bar stool and piss into a beer bottle without getting a drop on the bar." Bartender says, "You're on!" Bartender puts a bottle on the bar and the guy stands up on a stool which kind of swivels a bit. The guy whips it out and pisses all over the bar. The bartender laughs, grabs a towel, wipes it up and demands the $100, which the guy promply pays. The guy then goes over to a booth where another guy is sitting, looking very unhappy. The other guy hands our hero something, gets up and leaves. The bartender motions the dude over and says, "Why was he upset?" The guy says, "I bet him $1000 I could piss on your bar and you'd laugh and clean it up."

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"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Morgan Buchanan
http://www.geocities.com/morgunnmac

PaulyP · Post by **PaulyP** » Tue Aug 28, 2001 10:35 am

Careful about that self-defense thing... You can only use the level of force against someone that is used against you. If a drunk tries to touch you and you beat him with a stick, this is NOT self-defense. This is battery.
The Indiana definition of battery is pretty much the common law definition of battery. Battery is generally defined as "harmful or offensive bodily contact with the person of another. So, if the drunk student touches Noe, this is offensive bodily contact. If Noe beats said student with a stick this is harmful bodily contact, hence, battery. If Noe pushes the student away from him, this is self defense.

[This message has been edited by PaulyP (edited 08-28-2001).]

jagatei · Post by **jagatei** » Tue Aug 28, 2001 11:59 am

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by PaulyP:
Careful about that self-defense thing... You can only use the level of force against someone that is used against you. If a drunk tries to touch you and you beat him with a stick, this is NOT self-defense. This is battery.
The Indiana definition of battery is pretty much the common law definition of battery. Battery is generally defined as "harmful or offensive bodily contact with the person of another. So, if the drunk student touches Noe, this is offensive bodily contact. If Noe beats said student with a stick this is harmful bodily contact, hence, battery. If Noe pushes the student away from him, this is self defense.

[This message has been edited by PaulyP (edited 08-28-2001).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

this is a state by state issue. Check your local laws. Some places only require a reasonable person fear injury and others make you liable for protecting yourself no matter what.