The Armour Archive

What is the stupedists thing you've ever seen anybody do in a melee?

(lets leave real names out of this... unless you think the person wouldn't mind)

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Matthew Broadway
(SCA: Dante de la Vallée)

People getting gorked by spears and saying "That was excessive! I'm not dying to it!"

...

And then getting back into the mellee and getting hit again.

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http://bdeb.diaryland.com/

Saw a newer fighter climb over a no-zone barrier, and jump headlong into the enemies, knocking over a bunch of them.
~Folcric

One year at band camp....

Uh, I mean, one year at Estrella, our General gave the order for the entire Calontiri front line to move one step right.

Being faithful believers in what our Generals tell us, we did so in blind faith.

Of course then instead of closeing up a small hole that had formed in the line between us and another unit we opened a huge hole in the line as the General really meant move a step left

This particular General is more accustomed to manuevering the Army from its front (pre engaugment) so by being behind us was turned around

Halvgrimr

I once turned around because I heard somebody behind me say "Milord, Look at me!"

and I once puked on the flower of the midrealm chivalry.

f

The dumbest thing I've ever seen in a melee?

Me participating!!

Bran

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Courage is not the absence of fear, it's the ability to overcome it.

Authenticity Pledge can be found at http://www.kylosa.com/Pledge

I was standing looking at a single fight (we were mopping up the other sides few survivors), arms crossed and resting on my spear (waiting for my turn) when this fighter runs (really runns!) from the nere bye res-point and stabbs me hard in the head from the side with a spear.

Thank God the fighter had yet another life so I could take it away with a bit more ferocity than I usually muster during wars.

Nothing excessive, but a god clubbering and a brief word on engaging and courtecy on the field.

The second one was when me and 3-4 of my newbie friends thought it a good idea to take on a force of 50-60 fighters from the west (?) on our one at Pennsic 20.

Well, we where in their way and can you say: 'speed bump'?
I took about 12 hits WHILE going down!

Damned funny!

B

Stupidist thing I have ever seen in melee:

Combat Archery

and there it starts...the seventh reply..

Valstarr

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Valstarr Hawkwind:
<B>and there it starts...the seventh reply..

Valstarr</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


I was going to reply but didn't want to hijack a thread. So I just laughed instead.

Odo

quote:
Stupidist thing I have ever seen in melee:
Combat Archery


Reply;
Haven't seen you on the field, therefor you are not included in my previous posting.....

When are you "people" gonna realize that since we re-enact medeival war (ot bloody tournaments), there will be archers and crossbow men/women present when appropriate?

My advice:
Start fu**ing knitting.

Less grief for those without good 360 degree vision that hinders them in larger wars.

Either that or get a big ass shield.

Traded blows with an opponent... and in the midst of the ongoing melee, we had a discussion on the quality of the blows (you know, like you would do at a practice, not a shouting match)... both of us just stood up, dropped our gaurd and started chatting while the battle raged all around us... no one bothered us... I guess it's true that god looks out for fools and crazy folk... just not sure which I am.

After a bit, we finished our conversations and rather sheepishly returned to the battle still on-going.

I'd heard stories about this guy who does shield barges at full tilt into a crowd of combatants. Didnt really think much of it until I saw it with my own eyes at a medieval faire arena fight. Same guy, same situation.

Estrella 6, me left arm wounded, right with a 6" dagger, standing at the bottom of a wash with a unit of about 20 challenging them to come on down and get me...

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Sir Theodrik of Skane,
West, Mists, Blackwood Company
'Lude Fortier, Lude Juste, Nemini Damnum!'

Sorry about my previous outburst.

Just sick to the bone of people that take EVERY oportunety to jump on the CA issue.

Once again: sorry.

B

Its ok...its expected....


Dumbest thing I ever saw.... in the Woods battle at Pennsic

A guy from Anglesey jumped me with a pole arm as I was going for my back up weapon after loosing my spear...

So I closed on him faster than he expected...took his pole from him and hit him in the head with his own polearm...
he got pissed off and punched me in the face with a steel gauntlet...
nice, eh?

At Gulf Wars 11 I watched in disbelief as the "enemy" opened a huge hole in their lines right in front of my unit. We almost didnt charge, having a field sargent thinking it was a trap. But we ended up going through the hole, killed their ballistae units, about half the archers, and tied up two of their reserve units untill they clubbed us down.

Lachlann

At Pennsic 22, my first war experience and first fight outside of Trimaris, I come running out of resurrection point (the battle was on the field, cant remember what the fight was) and up to my knight and squire brothers, about 6 guys. He was being held off by three spearmen and two shields, five against seven. I was fighting 19"x32" heater.

I say to my knight, "lets bum rush these guys" and about that point I got jacked. I ran to res point and back, just to be introduced to Bearkiller. How ya doing Yer Grace! Ouch.

Same year, fighting spear in the town battle, and inside one of the buildings. A unit of about 75 was choosing which building to take when all of a sudden this one lone two stick guy starts hauling ass at my portal. He gets to spear range and is rejected as if he had run into a wall. Three spears landed, and basically all of us just held the spears in place, without really thrusting. After the guy wakes up and clears the cobwebs, he chuckles, thanks us and runs off. Really messed up.

Odo

Didn't actually see this one, but have heard it many times from the source. It's gotta rank up there w/ dumb things done on the field.

A young squire was attending his first Pennsic as a fighter. Seeing as it's his first time out, he's fighting sword in board in the shield wall. In the field battle, his unit has advantage of being positioned on top of a hill but Calontir is advancing wants them off the hill. As the squire tells it, this one Calontiri keeps slamming his tower shield into his heater trying to throw him off balance. Being a bit new and flustered by the contact, he reacts instictively and plants his left foot forward and takes a step back w/ his right.

At this point, his knight will always break into the story and add his point of view. He claims that he sees the young fighter take this obvious stance and knowing that his squire has an extensive background in martial arts, disengages from the line and runs at his squire yelling, "Noooo!" The way he tells it, everything slows down until the young squire launches a stiff kick into the middle of the Calontiri shield and knocks his opponent head over heels down the hill. The knight reaches the squire, grabs him by the scruff of the neck and drags him off the field.

Best part is, that the ran into this same Calontiri later on at a party, and he's telling everyone about the size of the guy who hit him w/ the spear.

Last year at BBW, me (by myself, 40' from anyone else on my side)standing downhill from 4 members of a not so distant household, and them not charging me. They sat in a defensive position, not moving, for several minutes. I finally got rolled over by 2 Ironwolf squires.
Gawd that was weird....

Hrólfr

At a Calontir war pratice a guy who is attacking the shield wall decides to jump it head first. He gets hung on a shield and the marshals yell hold. They offer to let him call him self dead and climb down but he refuses. As no one had struck him he was determined to go on. So he has his belly on the shield top, his ass in the air, he's looking at the ground, and his feet are hanging off the other side of the shield. No part of him is on the ground and he is still holding his weapons, and his determination to go on. They yell lay on. 6-8 poles land on his ass, back and legs. giggles galore.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Broadway:
<B>What is the stupedists thing you've ever seen anybody do in a melee?
</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well...there is the true to life Atlantian Ballad "The Ballad of Sir Bobby"...but I'll leave that for another one to tell.

"he got pissed off and punched me in the face with a steel gauntlet...
nice, eh?"

please tell me you kicked his ass

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gorm:
Well...there is the true to life Atlantian Ballad "The Ballad of Sir Bobby"...but I'll leave that for another one to tell.</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Poor Sir Robert, man...people just don't forget the stupid crap you do in the SCA...

Of course, i've never given my sword to Duke Lucan so he could kill me, and several more of my friends on the front line.

Heh.

Anyone remember which Pennsic it was when the Midrealm decided that the Roman "tortise" formation would work in the field battle?

It's still remembered in the East as the "Iron Chicklet"

Oh yeah, Combat Archery!

::Runs from another Brendan outburst::



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-Scott Thomas
Symon Fitz Gilbert, Squire to Sir Mitchell MacBain

Mundanely: Scott Bryan Thomas
(Evil Denizens Local 584)

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Murdock:
<B>"he got pissed off and punched me in the face with a steel gauntlet...
nice, eh?"

please tell me you kicked his ass

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Actually... I grabbed him in a bear hug....to stop him from freaknig out and yelled at him "what is your Fu*&ing problem?!?"...and the Marshal's ran up and threw ME out of the battle for grappling!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by sarnac:
<B>Its ok...its expected....


Dumbest thing I ever saw.... in the Woods battle at Pennsic

A guy from Anglesey jumped me with a pole arm as I was going for my back up weapon after loosing my spear...

So I closed on him faster than he expected...took his pole from him and hit him in the head with his own polearm...
he got pissed off and punched me in the face with a steel gauntlet...
nice, eh?</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


You're lucky you only got punched. Taking a guys weapon and hitting him with it is one of the things on the list of why a different knight got booted from the SCA for good.


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Non Onme Quod Licet Honestum Est

"Actually... I grabbed him in a bear hug....to stop him from freaknig out and yelled at him "what is your Fu*&ing problem?!?"...and the Marshal's ran up and threw ME out of the battle for grappling!"

How predictable

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by sarnac:
<B>
Actually... I grabbed him in a bear hug....to stop him from freaknig out and yelled at him "what is your Fu*&ing problem?!?"...and the Marshal's ran up and threw ME out of the battle for grappling!</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Obviously he wasn't dead. You should have kept hitting him with the polearm

Seriously, its a melee. If you lose control of your weapon, you reap the consequences...

I can through in a couple.


Brandr, who post every now and then, was marshalling the breach battle at Diamonds on year. Now mind you he had on no armour and a marshall's staff. There was a hold to clear out the dead. He asked one side if they were ready then as he turned to ask the other side a fighter came running up to him and started throwing shots. Seems the guy thought he had called lay on and started swinging at the first thing in front of him. Brandr blocked the shots then hauled the guy off the field.

At Gulf Wars a couple of years during the fort battle one of the guys in my barony cupped a guy so bad the fellow went off his feet and assumed the fetal position. He then got up and called the shot light so he could rejoin the fight.

During that same gulf wars while defending the fort in an earlier battle during the week I was legged as was the guy beside me. A fighter leading a charge came in at a full run with his heater in a high position. I caught the bottom of his heater and through him over the guy beside me, letting his momentum carry him. I thought that was bad enough until I found out that the glaive man behind me caught him in mid-air and helped drive him face first into the ground. Kinda felt bad about that one.

Vebrand

At least 15 years ago at Pensic they had a "false start" on the field melee, the canon went off armies advanced, engaged, and suddenly heard a series of holds.
We were sent back to our starting point, told to re-form our units, and about three minutes later they re-started the mellee.
We hadn't had time to coordinate a new strategy, so we were forced to repeat our earlier attack against a unit that knew where we were going to engage.
It was not a pretty sight
Failing that i would have to say that the stupidest thing I've ever seen in a melee was one of my ex-squires.

Dumbest thing I've ever seen in a melee; East & allies were storming the castle last year at Pennsic, and out of the corner of my eye I spot a marshal wearing a FENCING mask for protection. Now, being a rapier marshal I know that he might as well be wearing a papier mache donkey on his head for all the good that mask would have done him in a fnarking CASTLE BATTLE with PROJECTILES. Made me want to scream.

(edeted cuz I kan't spell)

[This message has been edited by baronalejandro (edited 12-15-2003).]

This is a constant stupid thing which I love. It happens at every mid sized melee event. (40-100 fighter types)
There's always the little, three man, 'sneak up behind 'em" and tap 'em on the shoulder, and when they turn, ....nail em group. I think I fell for this my first Simple Day 10 years ago. But now of course I wait for them with glee, and set myself twixt the most heavily fronted shield wall, watching the action to the front, if not killed outright, and when there about two feet away, with that shit eating silly assed hobbit grin on there face. I turn around about-face style, and just pummel the crap out of em. They think, (every single year) that there gonna get away with it, and every single year I get at least three kills, before I get whacked. It's like a middle age sit-com. I"m telling John the Elder, "Don't turn around. Not yet. Not yet. Okay. Now! Blam, blam, blam. Only in our game huh?

The stupidest thing that I can think of is....

Our Shire holds All's fair in love and war event on memorial day. We did small melee's and I run up against a knight. I engage and throw a c shot that lands under his shield and up his rib cage. Next thing I know I can't pull my sword free. I yank and yank but nothing happends. I felt that he had trapped my sword under his armpit. The knight just starts wailing on me. I put up my shield to block everything. The knight stops and I disengage and walk away. After the fight the knight yells 'come here' In plain view of everyone he says 'you don't do this!" and proceeds to shield punch me in the face. At this point the marshall in charge jumps in and seperates us. Supposedly I have accidently shield punched him while trying to defend myself. I asked him about the sword trapping. He said my sword basket must of got caught on his shield basket. I didn't buy that. But I have learned from it and avoid him in combat. I figure if you have to cheat to win why play at all?

Stupidest thing I saw done:
In the middle of a line fight, someone took offence at a hit they recieved and pulled his helmet off and dramatically threw it to the ground, yelling "That's Bull#$%T!. evolution in action.

Stupidest thing I've done;
This was a West-AnTir war quite some years ago when fiberglass was new and they decided to try no limit on unsliced pikes. In the afternoon sides had been mixed and we were fighting a grinding series of castle battles.
There was a unit of 5-6 Landsknechts with 15 footers holding a no-climb, 3 haybale high wall. I had lost an arm and had only a short axe. I charged the wall. I actually reached the wall as they all backed up to get range. I had a moment of that rosy, heroic glow as I held the wall and heard from behind, "Antir, there's a knight at the wall, unsupported, Charge!" and the thunder of re-inforcements behind me. The sheild wall arrived just in time to provide a rigid backstop for ALL of the pikes to slam me into. Got trampled too.


alail/scott