The Armour Archive

Actually the blackouts are pretty much standard with the rectal bleeding. Then the depression.

RE: Screaming Tuchux.

I 'met' one, a long, long time ago on a bridge. We were the first unit in, and so were they (on the other side). You know the drill: cannon, sprint, frenzy, hold. Well, this little Tuchux (seriously, he was 5 foot nothin) manages to slip between a couple of guys and gets on me. Now, I have him blocked out six ways from Sunday, so he's not hitting me or anything, but it's pretty packed up near the front. Thing is, he was screaming the entire time the fight was going on. Just screaming at the top of his lungs. No words, just noise.

The inevitable hold gets called, and he shuts up. We just stand there looking at each other. Lay on is called, and he starts screaming again. Eventually, someone on my side noticed the short screaming man and hit him.

Hilarious stuff. Made my day. Well, that and that by the first hold, we'd lost 2 guys, and they'd lost 14.

I saw BdeB taint slap a man once. True story.

What happens in the fealty ceremony, stays in the fealty ceremony.

Melisent wrote:I saw BdeB taint slap a man once. True story.

Byram! how could you, I thought that was our speacal thing.

jester wrote:BdeB is not for everyone. Do not use if you have high blood pressure, arthritis, mange, or gonorrhea. Talk to your doctor before using BdeB. May cause swelling, blackouts, depression, or rectal bleeding. If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours seek immediate medical attention.

And the urge to gamble?

Betting chocolate chip cookies doesn't count.

B. Amos wrote:

Melisent wrote:I saw BdeB taint slap a man once. True story.

Byram! how could you, I thought that was our speacal thing.

Ah come on Baby, relax! Have a Taco!

Amos: where do you think he got the idea to do it to you? He had to start somewhere.

B. Amos wrote:

Melisent wrote:I saw BdeB taint slap a man once. True story.

Byram! how could you, I thought that was our speacal thing.

"Join the Armour Archive" they said.
"Lots of good information and interesting discussions are there". they said.
And this is the first thread I read.

Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Timoch wrote:Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Timoch wrote:"Join the Armour Archive" they said.
"Lots of good information and interesting discussions are there". they said.
And this is the first thread I read.

Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Well...you do learn a lot here...might not be something you wanted to learn about, but there ya go.
(P.S. welcome to the archive!)

B. Amos wrote:

Melisent wrote:I saw BdeB taint slap a man once. True story.

Byram! how could you, I thought that was our speacal thing.

And this is part of why I love this group so much.

Timoch wrote:"Join the Armour Archive" they said.
"Lots of good information and interesting discussions are there". they said.
And this is the first thread I read.

Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Best. First. Post. Evar.

(Welcome!)

herrhauptmann wrote: I've heard if you hit someone just right, you can pinch a guys nipple between their hanging sternum protector and shield or shoulder armor.
And if you hit hard enough, or they didn't round the edges very well, you'll cut off the nipple.

Granted, that wasn't a tuchux in that particular story.
I think that would do the trick.

I once did a lovely smooth thrust with (I think... many years ago, so probably) an epee. Nice calibration, I thought, and my opponent went down screaming. I thought, "Sh*t. Have I lost my tip, and REALLY stabbed her?" But no red on her garb, and a blunt still on my sword. So, I pop my mask, and go and check she's okay. After a moment, she says, "Nipple Ring....."

hehehe....

Had a squire get a nipple ring some years ago. I found out when a very tippy shot across his chest took him to his knees.

I'm sitting here laughing almost as much now as I did then.

Baron Eirik wrote:hehehe....

Had a squire get a nipple ring some years ago. I found out when a very tippy shot across his chest took him to his knees.

I'm sitting here laughing almost as much now as I did then.

Having a nipple ring removed with a piece of rattan must massively suck.

Didn't remove it, did start it bleeding again for a while.

Yeah, I didn't manage to take it out, either. Just moved it sideways..... quite a bit. Dunno if a heavy blade would have been better or worse- tip larger, so less likely to lodge, but blade stiffer, and carrying more energy.

So NSTIW, the last day of Pennsic, having a good time in the Open Field battles.
After the first three battles Calontir switched sides and fought with our new allies.

In the last battle of the day I was swinging my pole when a hold was called.
One of the marshals said “Pop your hats boys, its gonna be a while.”
Everyone but one fellow ignored that (he musta been new.)
About 5 seconds later they called layon.

Now I was standing within range of the guy without a hat on and being the better man told him to take his time, I’d wait.

While I was waiting I saw a flash out of the corner of my eye and felt a stout spear shot to the gut.
A little squire with 9ft spear who ran like a Hermes himself had ran up and got me.

Now this enraged me because I was being a nice guy and got cheap shotted (in my mind)
I grabbed the little squire and howled at him about being a dick.
He asked “What did I do wrong?”
I howled again that I was being nice to one of his buddies and he hit me.
Again, he asked, “What did I do wrong?”
I started into what was surely a long winded rant about being courteous on the field when I realized ‘technically’ he didn’t do anything wrong.
We were in a pseudo line and since I saw him at the last minute were engaged so other than hit a guy that didn’t want to be hit, he did nothing wrong.
So I said, “You know what, forget it.”
To which he said one more time “What did I do wrong?”
I then said nothing and told him I was in the wrong, I had gotten caught up in the moment and all was well.

I promptly apologized for being an ass and told him to carry on

He then ran off but only before gacking the duke standing beside me observing this all …because they too were engaged

It was sort of a grey area thing (whirling melees often are) and Id had a decent week of fighting so it wasn't worth 'being right' and making a mountain out of a mole hill so I was just glad he didn't decide to return the favor and be a dick when I started chewing on him:)

Um, isn't iffy to start combat around someone who's not fully armoured (even if they are on your own side)? I'd certainly call that as (at the very least) iffy on the safety front, because of the risk of the unarmoured person getting rolled over in the melee.

One of my guys had something similar happen to him. Hold for medical was called in the one field battle. A bubble hold formed around the hurt guy and lay on was called. Bout four steps after the lay on got called, some clown jumped OUT of the bubble hold and put stick on my man...
Needless to say about four polearms and a various number of swords came down on him since he decided to become engaged with the unit...

Swete wrote:

Timoch wrote:"Join the Armour Archive" they said.
"Lots of good information and interesting discussions are there". they said.
And this is the first thread I read.

Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Well...you do learn a lot here...might not be something you wanted to learn about, but there ya go.
(P.S. welcome to the archive!)

Hmmmm..... Sounds like the night I saw the Mexican Donkey Show, in all places, Okinawa Japan.

*shudders* I still get slightly ill thinking about it.

Antonio wrote:Um, isn't iffy to start combat around someone who's not fully armoured (even if they are on your own side)? I'd certainly call that as (at the very least) iffy on the safety front, because of the risk of the unarmoured person getting rolled over in the melee.

By the time I actually got hit, his helm was on but he wasn't 'ready' yet.

Vermillion wrote:

Swete wrote:

Timoch wrote:"Join the Armour Archive" they said.
"Lots of good information and interesting discussions are there". they said.
And this is the first thread I read.

Then I misread the little block that says, "Disable BdeBCode.

Well...you do learn a lot here...might not be something you wanted to learn about, but there ya go.
(P.S. welcome to the archive!)

Hmmmm..... Sounds like the night I saw the Mexican Donkey Show, in all places, Okinawa Japan.

*shudders* I still get slightly ill thinking about it.

I saw that show on BC street back in the 80's. The chick was looking pretty old even back then.

Antonio wrote:Um, isn't iffy to start combat around someone who's not fully armoured (even if they are on your own side)? I'd certainly call that as (at the very least) iffy on the safety front, because of the risk of the unarmoured person getting rolled over in the melee.

I wonder if he even knew. When you have the helm on and a lay on is called, we train people to engage. I've heard people say for 20 years that "Lay On" is the command to charge, not that many people follow it. With restricted visibility and focus on the opposing line, I think it would be very easy to not notice that someone 10-15 feet down the line from you is still struggling to get his helm on.