No Fighter Left Behind Act (Humor)

[Aaron]

No Fighter Left Behind

First: That all fighters must make their way to the penultimate rounds in any tourney, and all fighters will become champion in said tourney. Perchance a fighter not go far in the lists he shall be censured until he become champion. His good lord and knight, or whichever wight is responsible for the training of said fighter shall be held accountable, as shall his source of inspiration.

It is in the laws of this land, that all fighters should keep apace with each other, in all circumstances, no matter how Fortune may turn her wheel. All fighters must be proficient at the same level with each other.

Should any fighter or squire enter a tourney with remedial skills, that trainer or knight of the combatant will be penalized for such performance, no matter the amount of time the fighter has spent learning or practicing his skills at arms.

Those fighters who are graced with strength of arm, nimbleness of foot, or any quality that causes him to be a strong and natural warrior shall practice his skills alone, as all knights and teachers of the art of combat shall devote their energies to others, even those whose talents run towards peaceful or scholarly pursuits and who have no taste for the arts of the tourney field or war.

All knights must be proficient in all areas of combat, both common and obscure, or they shall be stripped.

Tourneys shall be held throughout the year, but combatants shall only be entered officially in the lists on one occasion.

The renown of the combatants for each shire, barony, or household shall be posted in all places of gathering and announced by criers in the street, and all shall be counted equally, no matter the resources available in each group for the combative arts. Groups with fighters who do not have acceptable levels of renown for all fighters shall be penalized by having their practices overrun by foreign mercenaries and their armour and weapons removed and replaced by other articles useful for the pursuit of combat.

[Carl H]

Thank you. That is greatly appreciated. Now let me get back to grading.

[Paul the Small]

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. In my openion, No Child Left Behind is one of the worst things to hit the world of education. Why is it that the government wants us to teach to the lowest common denominator, then complains when our children don't have basic reading and math skills?

[freiman the minstrel]

Political in two posts. That took twice as long as I expected.

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