How to approach..

[Vikw2mnykids]

Ok my question is this. My wife is hooked on fighting after practicing with me just once. She wants to work with me more before she starts going to fighter practice. Do I approach training with her the same way I train our 7 year old or go a little tougher with her. Granted I don't want to undermine her abilities but at the same time I don't want to destroy her and sleep all celibate on the couch.

Inge Bjornson
Barony of Seleone
Gleann Abhann

[Broadway]

When fighting with women, you have to be very careful. They are inherantly weaker than men, so you have to tone it down a whole lot. Try to imagine that she is made of glass... and if you hit her too hard, she will shatter.

[Blackoak]

I would treat her like everyone else. If she wants to fight she needs to understand on the field sex doesn't matter.

Uric

[Amanda M]

There is a happy medium between totally destroying a new fighter and treating them like a delicate flower. She needs to understand that there is going to be pain and bruises involved. If she doesn't know that from the get go you are just setting her up for a rude surprise when she hits the field and gets treated like every other fighter out there.

[Blaine de Navarre]

I'm not sure what your relationship with your wife is like, but I would personally NOT choose to introduce a student/teacher relationship into a romantic one. Is there someone else around that she knows and could train her?

[Violen]

Yeah, get someone else to train her, And make sure she starts doing Pell Work!

[Vikw2mnykids]

Well to clarify a bit more....

We've been doing a lot of pell work together. And she's armoured up all the way. As far as blowing her away I don't think it would be a problem. And at this stage she says she would prefer I learn from my knight and then pass it on to her.
Plus the woman has given birth to 5 babies, the last two being twins. I'm more worried about her hurting me!!! Bwahahaha!

Inge Bjornson
Barony of Seleone
Gleann Abhann

[Swamp Stick]

I agree, it is rare that a student who is a spouse or SO does well. As far as how to treat her on the field, find her skill level, and fight just a bit above it, just like any other fighter. At the end of the session throw one shot at speed and at medium power to the head. Warn her first, and afterwards tell her that is a middle of the road shot, she will get hit harder and in areas that are not armored as well. I think you need to have a very serious discussion with her about what you expect and what she expects, just so there are not any misunderstandings. If she does not want to fight in front of a bunch of people yet, maybe you can find someone that you both trust to come over and work with her. Someone who does not overly intimidate her, but more importantly has control. I think that would be an advantage. I think that working with her on the pell may be a good idea if you two can handle that. Not having any idea what her physical strength is, if she is not large or strong, body mechanics are going to be paramount to get the most out of every ounce of body mass. Best of luck.

Bjorn

[Broadway]

When fighting with women, you have to be very careful. They are inherantly weaker than men, so you have to tone it down a whole lot. Try to imagine that she is made of glass... and if you hit her too hard, she will shatter.

Nothing huh? Too obvious with the troll bait here?

[Maeryk]

When fighting with women, you have to be very careful. They are inherantly weaker than men, so you have to tone it down a whole lot. Try to imagine that she is made of glass... and if you hit her too hard, she will shatter.

Nothing huh? Too obvious with the troll bait here?

absolutely.. and I don't think that person is a troll anyway.

[Broadway]

Payhaps troll bait was the wrong word... i was the one trolling.

[Morejello]

Yeah, get someone else to train her

Agreed. When my wife was heavy fighting, I would not fight her. Just didn't want any complications from field/home extending into the other. I did go out of my way to find people to train her, and we did non-fighting training together.
For the record, she didn't quit fighting because she couldn't take being hit, but because she didn't like being yelled at by people who were trying too hard to keep her safe in melees.

[Peikko]

When fighting with women, you have to be very careful. They are inherantly weaker than men, so you have to tone it down a whole lot. Try to imagine that she is made of glass... and if you hit her too hard, she will shatter.

Nothing huh? Too obvious with the troll bait here?

I know sarcasm when I see it

[DukeAvery]

1) Strike no harder than necessary.
2) Don't complain about non-injurious force levels on the part of my opponents*.
3) If something hurts, armor it.
4) Take shots to the standard I was taught 30 years ago and not some invented standard of my own.

Regards

Avery

* I did, once, tell an opponent that if he hit me that hard again we would have a serious problem. 99% of my sca opponents do not want me throwing my "10"s - not that I'm that hard a hitter.

[Jess]

No matter how you handle it, you will be wrong. The smart thing to do is get her to someone else who can teach her. If you can't convince her of this, send her over to the girlsclub and we will try to do it for you.

[Vitus von Atzinger]

Find a knight or preaux men-at-arms that is actually in love with his wife, and tell her to go ask him for pointers.

[Saritor]

Nothing huh? Too obvious with the troll bait here?

I think that you forgot to mention that they are better suited to watching than participating, and maybe work in something about male dominance.

[audax]

Get her her own knight.

[Alric]

Fighting is competition, and being in a fight with your spouse promotes dominance and competition between the two. I would strongly suggest NOT fighting, or teaching your spouse.
Alric

[twoswords]

Tell her to also read:
http://www.createforum.com/thegirlsclub/

And about the part that you should learn and then teach her...a classic way to ultimately fail. It is better that she reaches out of her comfort zone and start to work with some dedicated people other than yourself.

[DavidTwynham]

Ok my question is this. My wife is hooked on fighting after practicing with me just once. She wants to work with me more before she starts going to fighter practice. Do I approach training with her the same way I train our 7 year old or go a little tougher with her. Granted I don't want to undermine her abilities but at the same time I don't want to destroy her and sleep all celibate on the couch.

I think a lot of this will depend on how you approach things. Personally, I would recommend starting with structured drills and lessons before spending too much time actually fighting. I know that for my wife, having more structured practices rather than free sparring would have been a lot more helpful to her when she was learning to fence. A lot of this will depend on what her goals and exactly what she wants to do though.

My wife and I have been training rapier and cut and thrust with each other for several years now and I think that it works very well for us. I think that we are able to train well with each other because we have a lot of respect for one another and we enjoy trying to push each other to improve. She's one of my favorite sparring partners and I am one of hers. When we fence, we most definitely do not go easy on each other (note, this is after she's had several years of intense training and not a beginner) and it is pretty awesome (and often violent)

[Peikko]

Find a knight or preaux men-at-arms that is actually in love with his wife, and tell her to go ask him for pointers.

[Glaukos the Athenian]

Find a knight or preaux men-at-arms that is actually in love with his wife, and tell her to go ask him for pointers.

I find this statement as wise as it is sad.

[Jonny Deuteronomy]

When fighting with women, you have to be very careful. They are inherantly weaker than men, so you have to tone it down a whole lot. Try to imagine that she is made of glass... and if you hit her too hard, she will shatter.

Nothing huh? Too obvious with the troll bait here?

Yup.
Study Stump.
He is a master of subtlety.

[dukelogan]

ding ding ding!

in our sport it doesnt matter if you sit down or stand up to pee. we are fighters. anyone who treats women differently than men is setting them up for disappointment. women that expect to be treated differently on the field are delusional.

that said, i treat all new fighters the same when training. each individual person will, of course, get different attention based on their individual abilities. women are generally much weaker physically than men. this presents some challenges but they are no more difficult than wee fellas, fat fellas, slow fellas, etc. most women that i have trained find encouragement just from being treated like everyone else that im training. if a fighter/trainer actually respected the person they are competing with or training they would treat them the same. they get it, the rest of us need to as well.

regards
logan

I would treat her like everyone else. If she wants to fight she needs to understand on the field sex doesn't matter.

Uric

[Jofthepeace]

1) Get her a copy of "The Armored Rose" Armored Rose on Amazon (none new, but used) (edit: you may want to read this also to help understand training her)
2) Ingrain into her technique....being weaker physically than males, as most have pointed out, technique is more important to a female fighter
3) Make sure she has good armor!
4) Make sure every time she enters the field, she understands there's a chance she may be injured.
5) Make sure she has fun!

[Vikw2mnykids]

Thanks all for words of experience! Our biggest obstacle right now is 3 kids under the age of 4. With that its hard nigh on impossible for us both to make it out to weekly fighter practice. I've offered to back off on my own training as a man-at-arms so she can spend more time on fighting.

Inge Bjornson
Barony of Seleone
Gleann Abhann

[Broadway]

Babysitter.

[Jofthepeace]

Babysitter.

LOL yup, this! Even take the babysitter with you to the event so the kids are there, but you can both be on the field. May even make a new SCA member that way.

[Alex Baird]

If she wants to fight she needs to understand on the field sex doesn't matter.

Whoa, wait a minute... have you ever had on the field sex? It matters!

(so do strategic commas...)

[Jofthepeace]

Let's eat Grandpa.

Let's eat, Grandpa.

Punctuation, it saves lives....

[DukeAvery]

I'd further suggest 2 nerf swords. if it's been outlawed by the Navy, you know it must be fun.

Regards

Avery

[JMcBrayer]

Let's eat Grandpa.

Let's eat, Grandpa.

Punctuation, it saves lives....

I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.

Appropriate capitalization prevents explaining things to CPS and ASPCA.

[Blackoak]

If she wants to fight she needs to understand on the field sex doesn't matter.

Whoa, wait a minute... have you ever had on the field sex? It matters!

(so do strategic commas...)

Does the fort at Gulf Wars count?

Uric

[Amanda M]

1) Get her a copy of "The Armored Rose" Armored Rose on Amazon (none new, but used) (edit: you may want to read this also to help understand training her)
2) Ingrain into her technique....being weaker physically than males, as most have pointed out, technique is more important to a female fighter
3) Make sure she has good armor!
4) Make sure every time she enters the field, she understands there's a chance she may be injured.
5) Make sure she has fun!

I would not get her a copy of the Armored Rose and have her and him read it early in her training. It has been the subject of much debate and there is a lot of baggage attached to that book. If she or her husband want advice on training women or woman-centric fighting issues, she should talk to other female fighters or men with success in training women.