The Armour Archive

Oh damn...where is my pic of Mohammed with a fish hat on?

This has been one of the more amusing threads I have ever read on the Archive. My brothers and sisters, I thank you.

MJBlazek wrote:2 Birkas ago, I handed out Pieces of "St. Colin's Pylon" shards of the pier that he was Martyred against, to my Priory Brethren.

I put little splinters of wood from a beam in my shed into little glass bottles and sealed them with wax.

It was fun, and met with good humor.

Heheheh...I'm working on a reliquary for mine

Hah; I have preserved pieces of the one true blankie--a hand spun hand worked christening blanket that the recipient of refused to let go of and so the "heirloom" ended up as a felted greyish mass that shed pieces after several years of hard life.

Always wanted to make a sword pommel reliquary with crystal lenses over a piece of *real* security!

Thomas

Thomas Powers wrote:Hah; I have preserved pieces of the one true blankie--a hand spun hand worked christening blanket that the recipient of refused to let go of and so the "heirloom" ended up as a felted greyish mass that shed pieces after several years of hard life.

Always wanted to make a sword pommel reliquary with crystal lenses over a piece of *real* security!

Thomas

What an intereseting coincidence.... while looking for photos in my parents attic, my mother recently found the remains of St. Michael, a stuffed monkey like toy that I'd played with from 2 years old. St. Michael had largely fallen apart and been sewn new "armor" to contain his stuffing many times. He was eventually relagated to a shelf of odd memories, then box in the attic. Now, decades later, the Right Arm of St. Michael needs a home.

Thanks to your inspiration, I will now enshrine this relic [small bit of stuffing and red cloth], in a pommel and transform my longsword into the Sword of St. Michael.

I gave out little shards of bone as Saint's relics at the beginning of our crusader walk.

brewer wrote:Oddly, modern Christians were singularly unamused.

Bob

I'd bet they don't like simonizing, either...

... doubt they'd twig to a burned-out spinny firework offered as a relic of St. Catherine. Or would that have been more a "Whenever you light it, do this in memory of me?"

Snaebjorn Hakonarson wrote:Wilhelm. Thank you for lightening the mood of this thread again.

I think we've (by this I mean especially ME) forgotten that the point of this thread was to laugh and that reply made me laugh!

Wilhelm/rameymj is always a pretty good guy for morale.

Crimthann of Fid-Nemed wrote:The very first SCA Helm (or a shard therof)

I can almost see the posting in the classified/want adds page, "a piece of the 1st helmet dent left by Duke Paul Bellatrix"

Years ago our Barony held a Mideval Religious Symposium (i.e. going over religious beliefs during the Middle ages). One of the charity items was a reliquery auction. There was a lot of rain at Pennsic that year and by fighting boots were still covered in the stuff. Someone knocked off a bunch and sold it as "soil from the holy Land"

Robert The Stout.

My laurel medallion was forged from part of a bloom we smelted at Pennsic and my scroll is a carved stone that my wife wants to use for my tombstone---really freak out the cousins at the old family graveyard!

Thomas

I prefer lighting fireworks in June and then as the smell of powder reaches us saying a small prayer to Wulfgar the Sky Writer. SCA oriented religion at its finest.

Crimthann of Fid-Nemed wrote:While I FULLY SUPPORT the selling of fake relics, to inspire a more correct medieval atmosphere, perhaps in this overly PC world we could get away with selling more SCA related relics.

The Plastic fork used to eat at the first SCA party, used by Diana Listmaker herself!

The very first SCA Helm (or a shard therof)

A feather from the arrow Caradoc first used to declare the first Pennsic War!

The cardboard core from the first role of duct tape!

Somewhere (I believe in the possession of Master Cadwallon) is a Valerius Relic... which is a small glass tube containing some rust from one of Valerius' own helms, some dirt from the old shop, and something else I don't recall. I could easily make more of these if there were enough interest. Well, maybe not with the same ingredients, but still.

Edit: For the record, it was not made with Valerius knowledge or consent... he's kinda embarrassed by it.

This thread is a perfect example of what my Mum always said-

Gentlemen should not talk about religion or politics in polite society, because wars have been fought over the simplest of mis-understandings or disagreements...

Adeliz wrote:

Crimthann of Fid-Nemed wrote:While I FULLY SUPPORT the selling of fake relics, to inspire a more correct medieval atmosphere, perhaps in this overly PC world we could get away with selling more SCA related relics.

The Plastic fork used to eat at the first SCA party, used by Diana Listmaker herself!

The very first SCA Helm (or a shard therof)

A feather from the arrow Caradoc first used to declare the first Pennsic War!

The cardboard core from the first role of duct tape!

Somewhere (I believe in the possession of Master Cadwallon) is a Valerius Relic... which is a small glass tube containing some rust from one of Valerius' own helms, some dirt from the old shop, and something else I don't recall. I could easily make more of these if there were enough interest. Well, maybe not with the same ingredients, but still.

Edit: For the record, it was not made with Valerius knowledge or consent... he's kinda embarrassed by it.

But SCA relics? Hmmmmm! I feel a business opportunity arising...

For SCA relics I could get a piece of Pavels Lightning bed, scorch marks and everything. Course could maybe get a piece of Pavel too.

Tyr Palenske wrote:For SCA relics I could get a piece of Pavels Lightning bed, scorch marks and everything. Course could maybe get a piece of Pavel too.

I'll give you $10 USD for one of Pavels fingers (or toes, I'm not fussy!) as long as it has a certificate of authenticity with a big red wax seal...

Michael Deth wrote:

Tyr Palenske wrote:For SCA relics I could get a piece of Pavels Lightning bed, scorch marks and everything. Course could maybe get a piece of Pavel too.

I'll give you $10 USD for one of Pavels fingers (or toes, I'm not fussy!) as long as it has a certificate of authenticity with a big red wax seal...

With or without some form of artificial joint?


We use to play for Pavel points (things that might kill but you live) until he was struck by lightning. Then our knight Ternon declared the only way you could win would be to throw yourself in front of a speeding semi and only be knocked unconcious. I don't need Pavel to be my future. Although sitting outside of the Paradise general store waiting for the Lilies site to open sharing a beer was a nice afternoon.

Lol sounds kinda like the Australian "Darwin awards" which are awarded postumiously to folk for removing themselves from the gene pool in the most stupid (I.E funniest) way imaginable...

(But I think the artificial joint adds authenticity to the whole deal!)

Lol sounds kinda like the Australian "Darwin awards" which are awarded postumiously to folk for removing themselves from the gene pool in the most stupid (I.E funniest) way imaginable...

(But I think the artificial joint adds authenticity to the whole deal!)

I thought the betting was on a meteor strike for Pavel's next one upping of himself!

(I was at that Lilies during that storm.)

Thomas

Could someone please explain the story of Pavel to those of us who have never heard it? Until just now I'd never heard the name. (Well unless you count the guy with a similar name who had the dogs.)

Snaebjorn Hakonarson wrote:Could someone please explain the story of Pavel to those of us who have never heard it? Until just now I'd never heard the name. (Well unless you count the guy with a similar name who had the dogs.)

Master Pavel is the master of the Calontir Shield Wall and has had just about everything imaginable happen to him and he's still alive. I believe it was Lilies in 94' there was a horrendous storm that cam out of nowhere. Pavel was holding his main pavilion pole that was attached to the bed where Mrs. and Daughter Pavel were sleeping when out of gods fingertip came this horrendous bolt of lighting. It hit the pole, went through Pavel and arced out of his hip. The bed exploded. It was like God decided to say "Here Pavel, try and survive this one." I was in the Hotel Forgotten Seas period Norse encampment maybe a hundred yards away, max, and the flash was bright enough that it woke everyone up. Needless to say everyone was taken to the ER, only to have Pavel come walking back into war on a cane carrying the largest surviving piece of the bed. I think it was gifted to the keeper of the grove later that. I'll have to ask Identhrysus if he still has it. Pavel and I share a knight and a host of squire brothers that should probably be dead, but Pavel has been through the most.

Things happen to Pavel in and out of the SCA.

IIRC he was an army tanker, got pinched between two moving tanks. Had to have an arm sewed back on as a result.

Has quite a collections of metal implants as a result of living life to the fullest.

No one wants to collect as many inches of suture lines as he has on his body.

Actually he is the best friend you can have, you do not want to be his enemy as we have Pavel's law

"Someday you will be in arm's reach!"

Hugh

Hugh Prescott wrote:Things happen to Pavel in and out of the SCA.

IIRC he was an army tanker, got pinched between two moving tanks. Had to have an arm sewed back on as a result.

Has quite a collections of metal implants as a result of living life to the fullest.

No one wants to collect as many inches of suture lines as he has on his body.

Actually he is the best friend you can have, you do not want to be his enemy as we have Pavel's law

"Someday you will be in arm's reach!"

Hugh

Don't forget the Bavarian nose clutch! Or surviving the grocery store story.

Actually the ouchiest one I know was his story of straddling a piece of artillery trying to reduce a misfire when it self reduced and he suddenly got to ride the recoil in a sort of total smashy way.

He also has a needle phobia and so life has tried it's best to wear it out of him! (I was at the New Years party where he fell backwards through the french doors).

I was one of the 5 who got memberships so we could have a shire in Grimfells and so predate Pavel's arrival there by quite a bit...(I also was a co-founder of SmytheKeepe and actually chose it's name---though not that spelling of it...)


I certainly wouldn't stand near him if they reported a possible near earth asteroid crossing!

Thomas

Omg! Poor bugger, it sounds like Pavel is fated to be repeatedly tested...

Is he a user on the archive? Does anyone know?

Michael Deth wrote:Omg! Poor bugger, it sounds like Pavel is fated to be repeatedly tested...

Is he a user on the archive? Does anyone know?

Not that I know of.

The funniest is hearing how Ternon drug him up the stairs as he clung to his belt, bouncing his nose off each stair. More or less. Personally i like the squire song.

That's a shame! I would have liked to say "Hi!"

But by all means, feel free to tell "No shit! There I was...." stories...(:

Tyr Palenske wrote:

Hugh Prescott wrote:Things happen to Pavel in and out of the SCA.

IIRC he was an army tanker, got pinched between two moving tanks. Had to have an arm sewed back on as a result.

Has quite a collections of metal implants as a result of living life to the fullest.

No one wants to collect as many inches of suture lines as he has on his body.

Actually he is the best friend you can have, you do not want to be his enemy as we have Pavel's law

"Someday you will be in arm's reach!"

Hugh

Don't forget the Bavarian nose clutch! Or surviving the grocery store story.

Never, NEVER ask him to tell you the Broccoli story, put some other poor expendable smuck up to ask him.

Hugh

Oh Hugh, you joker. The Broccoli story is perfectly safe, really it is, honest.

Tyr Palenske wrote:Oh Hugh, you joker. The Broccoli story is perfectly safe, really it is, honest.

Okay. I'll bite, what's the broccoli story?

Michael Deth wrote:

Tyr Palenske wrote:Oh Hugh, you joker. The Broccoli story is perfectly safe, really it is, honest.

Okay. I'll bite, what's the broccoli story?

Unfortunately it is a story better told in person, crowd participation and all.

Tyr Palenske wrote:

Michael Deth wrote:

Tyr Palenske wrote:Oh Hugh, you joker. The Broccoli story is perfectly safe, really it is, honest.

Okay. I'll bite, what's the broccoli story?

Unfortunately it is a story better told in person, crowd participation and all.

Thats always the case with the really good stories, you need to be able to do the gestures.... I've got to admit it sounds damn interesting....

I guess you guys are in the US of A, where abouts are you and Pavel?

Michael Deth wrote:
Thats always the case with the really good stories, you need to be able to do the gestures.... I've got to admit it sounds damn interesting....

I guess you guys are in the US of A, where abouts are you and Pavel?

Yeah you definitely need the hand gestures, it gets told at once a Lilies and Pennsic I would believe.

Well Pavel is down in Grimfells which is in Arkansas and I am almo0st dead center in the United States in Spinning Winds, which is Manhattan Ks.