The Armour Archive

I recall a LONG time ago when i was a kid I asked the internets(aol at the time) how did knights go? and they according to the internets pooped their armor literally

but what im curious about is. Is it true they actually had their squires use their piss to clean said poop out?

I think it came from the same notion that cranes were necessary to put knight on horses. In these days we have a lot of people that wear armour regularly and for quite long time, and I don't see people pooping their pants at any corners.

Since most armour is "open on the bottom" I'd say this story is absurd. There would certainly be times where as a knight was killed in his armour his body lost control of its natural functions but even then there isn't much that likely to get it on the armour.

Let all those that go to don armour tomorrow, remember to go BEFORE they don armour tomorrow!

I've peed in my armour before...

Did you pee in the armour? Or did you take a pee whilst wearing armour?
It could be taken two different ways.
-Cian

A general rule that has been passed down at the College of Saint Golias (Crown College of the Outlands) Armour class.

Design your armour so you can use the port o johns with out problems or help. You should be able to go, squat and get back to the shield wall in time for the next battle.

When I passed this on to two of our new heavy fighters they looked puzzled that I would say something so obvious and even comment "of course I have already figured to account for that."

Armour designed for use on horseback often does have the "seat" left open to allow for good saddle contact. So no problem.

Armour designed for foot jousting may be "complete" but it is designed in pieces to allow donning it and all the brayettes I have seen seemed to have "easy off" provisions.

Now the possibility of someone losing control due to fear exists in real battles---however just remember that the fellow who had that problem *survived* the battle and perhaps it would not be best to twit them about it...

With widespread dysentery in medieval armies; Oops moments were probably fairly common; but again someone who was out fighting while *sick* may not be someone to pick on when they get well! (and this excuse may have been a common explanation used for the previous case as well)

Do people really need to go when in armour? I never felt the need to go ones I am armoured up. Even if the fighting takes the whole day. But maybe that's just me.

Cheers,

Jan

Three or four days in a row in harness brings a number of issues to the fore.
Though the canard about not being able to sleep in the stuff... I'm a VERY light sleeper (I wake up when the cat walks into the room), and I gotta say, I actually sleep better in the stuff, as the weight seems to convince my body that I'm about two weeks old and tightly swaddled...

Longest I was every able to wear my maille shirt was 3 days, always felt like I had a bag of cement on my chest when I was flat on my back to sleep. I should have tried it in a more upright position as is often shown for medieval sleeping.

Russ Mitchell wrote:I actually sleep better in the stuff

I don't sleep so well in armour, but I have found a pile of bunched up mail to be one of the most comfortable beds; once you get it conformed to your body, it then doesn't move again.

btw i wasnt trying to be funny i really remember this being taught to me. I honestly could see it being plausible though since piss has ammonia which does kill bacteria

That sounds like another ridiculous myth started by someone who had no knowledge of how armour worked.
Armour never had "butt plates" or anything that would greatly inhibit you.
(The exception being some later period tournament armour, which wasn't meant to be worn for long periods, or in actual combat.)

Unless the armoured man isn't wearing braies, he still needs to get at the drawstrings and whatnot, find a place to squat, et cetera. Some mess on the armour is to be expected, especially since holding up the mail around the hips is problematic while wearing arm harness. Taking a dump while standing in formation, waiting to advance on foot is going to be a source of amusement and derision for those standing around him. Once entering action, on foot or on horse, the last thing your mind and body is thinking about is dealing with bodily functions. I expect the servants and squires would not object to this normal function as they were constantly cleaning up after him. ie. chamber pots, filthy clothes, muddy boots. Fermented urine is an excellent source of ammonia for cleaning fabric.

Modern people can be so fastidious about perfectly normal things like dressing animals for the kitchen, caring for horses, washing blood and gore off hunting clothes - whatever. That was life in the pre-industrial world.

Buster wrote:That sounds like another ridiculous myth started by someone who had no knowledge of how armour worked.
Armour never had "butt plates" or anything that would greatly inhibit you.
(The exception being some later period tournament armour, which wasn't meant to be worn for long periods, or in actual combat.)

Just FYI, if there's an exception, you shouldn't use "never."

About 40 years ago I read a 19th century book on Whaling that mentioned them using a barrel of stale urine tied to the base of one of the masts to soak their clothes in and then tying a rope to them and dragging them off the ship for a rinse ("Cruise of the Cachalot").

And urine doesn't contain ammonia; it contains urea that can be changed into ammonia by the breakdown of urea. Else wise whenever we peed into a toilet with bleach in it the chlorine gas cloud would be unpleasant!

Anyway life in earlier times was very much odorifically enhanced compared to modern times!

I recall being told that dysentery was so common among the English at Agincourt that they fought naked from the waist down, but I don't know if that was based on any historical fact.

I've heard the dysentery story about Agincourt as well.